She didn't want to come. Her heart was consumed with the weariness of life and loss, plus a demon from her past was rearing its ugly head. Yet, there she was, in a room surrounded by fifty women.
Trish was leery at first. Sure, she was physically present, but her heart was heavily guarded, and her soul was as distant as a shooting star. Trish tricked me initially with her "church face" and all. I didn't know the depth of her hurt or the mom's guilt shackles that left her feeling inadequate and alone. That is until our last breakout session.
By this point in the conference, Trish had already participated in three worship sessions, listened to four keynote sessions, partook in one breakout session, enjoyed lunch and fellowship, and now, in our second and last breakout session, just thirty minutes before the Turn Conference was ending, Trish shared, "I didn't want to come today. I'm facing a tough season right now, and honestly, the topic TURN TO THE PROMISES OF GOD would be too hard to hear. I only came because my sister was picking me up, and I didn't want to explain why I was canceling. I wasn't sure what to expect, but I know I wasn't expecting to be so thankful and happy that I came!"
Tears began to fill Trish's eyes as she shared specific details about the challenges she was facing. A deep sense of sisterhood ignited around our little table, and all ten of us became instant life-long friends. We were ready to rally around Trish and carry her to the only one who can mend and heal: Jesus. As the conversation continued, women from all stages of life wrapped Trish in a blanket of Godly wisdom and encouragement.
Right before my eyes, I witnessed the Lord chiseling away at the wall surrounding Trish's heart. I noticed Him pulling her closer and closer like a fisherman reeling in his line. Trish may not have left the event with all the answers, but she did walk away TURNED toward the Lord and His promises. She let go of fear and leaned into His power. Trish released control and self-sufficiency and surrendered the burdens weighing her down. She gave authority to God's voice in her life over her own.
Have you ever experienced the "I don't want to go" moments? I sure have. And to be honest, I'm a little ashamed to admit that there have been times I didn't follow Trish's example and showed up anyway. I wonder if I missed an encounter with the Lord because I opted to stay home. It can be challenging to show up when you don't feel like it. But often, it will always be worth it.
The next time you feel like "I don't want to come," I encourage you to reconsider. More than likely, God will do one of two things: use you just as He used the ten women at the conference to speak truth and encouragement over Trish, or you'll be Trish, the recipient of encouragement and burden-lifting. No matter where you and God decide to meet, whether while cooking dinner, sitting in the carpool line, driving across town, changing your oil, taking a hike, fishing off the shore, attending a conference, worshiping at church, or gathering with your small group, be ready because when you enter the presence of the Lord Almighty, you can't help but walk away CHANGED.
"To come into the presence of the Lord is to be changed. You cannot come into his presence and remain the same. So, change me, Lord, remake me, Lord, conform me to the image of your Son. Change me, Lord, remake me, Lord, til Father, Spirit, Jesus, we are one." - lyrics to Change Me, Lord.
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